.Tuesday, June 30, 2009 ' 5:57 PM Y
blogged
back to posting . i tink i gonna rant loads of shit in tis blog during these few days .
i got no where to vent my anger . my temper is coming out . i dun wish for it to happen .
because i dunno where my anger might go . and hu it might be on .
tis post . for now . is meant for U onli .
i heard from xinyi mei already . i noe all ur complains . but haf u ever stood in my shoes and tot jus for a min . i told u if u wanna find tt gal trouble . u would b at the losing end nias . tis was all i said . if anything wrong pls tell me . but lyk i said . if the gal find u trouble . feel free to call me if she calls anybody down to help her . did u rmb tis ? did u tell tis to xinyi ? or did u jus told her bout hw i did not bother bout u . u told me everythings fine . but wad i hear doesnt seem to be wad u said . i pei u sms till 10am plus on ur 1st day of schl . i jus worried u cant wake up . afterall ur holiday mood would still b dere . i was once a 15 yrs old . i noe hw it felt baby . but did u ever tot i was tired and woke up in the night . u said u didnt 1 to wake me up . but ur last sms was u reach home call me . i didnt recieve any calls . i tot u would b outside . i didnt want to disturb ur outing . i jus wanted led u haf ur fun baby . its ur freedom . all tis i wun control . but if cos i not controlling ur freedom u tink i treating u coldly . i really am sorrie . i dunno how control a person . cos to me controlling is treating tt person as ur dog . i dun wan tis . wad i wan is u to haf ur freedom and love me lyk always . do u tink i wan control ur freedom when i noe ur parents r so strict . u wanted a bf to love u care for u and take care of u . i dun tink u wan a bf to be ur 2nd parents ? haf u ever tot y i stayed up late watching my movie and all but not slping ? i jus worried u got nightmares wake up nobody to talk to u might be afraid . i noe of all the things u r scared . so i jus try to pei u as much as possible . after i start work . or mayb army . do u tink i haf the time to pei u if u had a nightmare and woke up in the middle of the night ? do u tink i could gif u a morning call . i dun tink so . by tt time even u wan all tis to happen . i cant make it happen for u already baby . i noe u haf xinyi to tell all ur things to . i dun haf . i onli haf tis blog . but i am always afraid the things i post u might be jealous . u might get sad over it . i really dunno wad to do . u r the onli 1 i haf left to say my things out . but u get worried too easily . i dun wan u worry over me . last time i use to haf ash . but now his busy . now i got jon . but his too busy wit schl stuffs . do u really tink i wan tis to happen ? i gaf up all my frens for u alr . i can tell u tt if we were to break up . silent will disappear . a hongster will appear . cos u r the last 1 i really felt love wit . a gal tt doesnt wan my money . a gal tt has no money but willing to spend it on me . i jus dun wish my stead to b an ahlian . if ppl tio u . u call ppl down help u . tt isnt ahlian . is jus self defending . but if u tio ppl and call ur back up . tt is ahlian baby . i dun wan u to tink u haf the world's backing to tio anyone . tt's y i dun wan u tio ppl . if liddat u tink i neglecting u . here i am apologising . tis is my feelings . is smth i didnt wanna say . but i dun wish tis r/s to cont wit tears and pain . i wan it to be filled wit smiles and sweetness . tis is wad i promised . but i cant seem to do it . am i such a failure ? mus i really b lyk wad i was last time in order to be *successful* ? i dun hope so . i dun wan be ahbeng no more . i dun wan fight lyk nobody's business . i dun wan shed blood for a stranger . i dun wan shed tears for a person tt doesnt love me . each time i hear u cry . my heart cries . do u noe tt ? i really haf no idea hw to treat u . in order for u to feel tt i am treating u wit warmth . and with love . i hate myself for tis . sorrie baby .
tis is all i haf to say . i am sorrie baby . sorrie for treating u coldly .
sorrie for all the times i made u sad .
sorrie for all the times i made u jealous .
sorrie for all the times i hurt u .
sorrie for all the times i made u worried .
s-o-r-r-i-e ~ hais .
Labels: a r/s ruined by me
